Starting over is a interesting thing.  Its part strange occurrence because you realize you had already started and now you have to go back and do the things that you had already done.  It means redoing, relearning, and remodeling the things you thought you had mastered.  Well so much for mastery.  So what got me here.  Lets start with some facts!

I started a new job, from the moment I new I was leaving my old, comfort zone job where I was well loved by most, well respected by all, and new all the ins and outs, I was already freaking out.  I was already eating it all away.

The summer I had a lot of great times. I visited family.  I ate, a lot.

The school year started at the new job where my confidence was way down, and with it I began my internship class to become an administrator.  And I ate...oh man did I eat.  Suddenly the thought of cooking healthy food, waking up early to work out and going to meetings seemed all more than I could handle.  I could not focus on anything good for me.  Chinese food, dominoes, pints of ice cream, cereal out of boxes, all of this seemed so much better and easier.

I tried to work out, tried to eat well and just could not.  Suddenly McDonalds was calling, the Burger King near my new school seemed like a novelty and good choice.  Anything to not have to make decisions.

So here I am.  37lbs above my lowest weight.  The first semester is almost over.  We are two weeks away from a new year, my internship class is done on Monday.  I feel I have breathing room.  I feel I can refocus.  I feel I have no choice.  Now its time to get it back together.  To figure things out, to get back on track.

I am going back to my weight watchers meetings, going back to tracking my food and keeping my mind focused and motivated.  I wish myself luck.